We are Family, Even if You're Dumber than Me (UNCENSORED)
We are Family Even if You're Dumber than Me (UNCENSORED) is the eleventh URP Short. Plot You thought you saw the whole thing? What about seeing it...UNCENSORED?! Story A camera is seen filming Sub and his family (Anabella): Wow Sub, I can't believe you actually got us to get on TV for six months. (Sub): Well let's just say I had to things in New Jersey I'm not proud of... A skinny hooker kisses Sub on the cheek, as everyone stares in shock. (Sub): WHAT?! Ithon and Marrow are seen coming in the door. (Ithon): Hey me and Marrow need a place to sta- uuhhh what's with all the cameras? (Sub): We're having our own reality show for six months. (Ithon): Ohhh...c-cool. Fuck me... (Marrow): I have some deadly missiles in my backpack. If we're lucky, we could kill some people with it! (Sub): Cool! (Anabella): Let's bring them in the backyard. (Ithon): Wait don't do them without me; I'll just grab some guns just in case if there's any witnesses. The camera is filming Ithon. (Ithon): ...Umm, hi. Sooo, what do you want?! ...I killed my wife. Ithon punches the camera. (Marrow): COME ON, GET YOU'RE SKINNY ASS OVER HERE LET'S FIRE THIS MOTHERFUCKER UP! (Ithon) Talk to me like that one more time, it's gonna be you're ass. Half the neighborhood is covered in fire and havoc, with innocent people dead, and three buildings destroyed because of Marrow's dumbass missiles. (Random Man): OH MY GOD, THEIR ALL DEAD! (Thunder): Hey Lightning, wanna do somethin fun? Thunder whispers in Lightning's ear. (Lightning): AW, YEAH! Lightning asks like there is a villain somewhere. (Lightning): Sub! Sub! There's...a villain! Yeah, a villain, and he's outside! (Sub): I'll grab my sword! He grabs his Sword of Justice from an old homeless man who had it for some reason. (Bum): Your sword is very usefull. (Sub): Umm...do I know you? Sub runs outside. (Sub): With my Sword of Justice! I will vanquish all evil bad guy- He accidentally stabs Thunder with his sword. (Sub): Oh no! Thunder what have a done?! Thunder speak to me! (Thunder): Y-You...stupid motherfucker...you stabbed me in my goddamn...chest! Thunder dies in Sub's arms. (Sub): OK where is that villain?! (Lightning): Uh, there is no villain. I was sort of just fuckin' with ya for the cameras. (Sub): WHAT THE HELL MAN?! (Lightning): Look I'm sorry! (Sub): UP YOURS MAN! Sub fills Thunder's dead body with stuffing as a statue, which he sits in the living room. (Anabella): Wow. That statue looks...like...shit. (Hades): Sub has his own reality show eh? I can't wait to ruin it! Hades' dog, walks by and it says "Cock Gobbler" on the side of his belly. (Hades): KILLER WHO DID THIS TO YOU?! GRRRR...ZEUS! As there is a knock on the door, Sub and Marrow goes to get it and they see Hades dressed up as a nanny (Marrow): Who the hell are you, and why can't I fucking kill you? (Sub): Agreed. You look like something an ogre would shit out after eating spicy beans. (Hades) CHILDREN....respect you're elders. Hades flashes his out his middle finger at the camera. (Anabella): A nanny! That's just what we need! (Hades): Mmm, I know what I need baby... (Anabella): Ahehehe...y-yeah.. Hades tries many attempts to kill Sub and his family. (Anabella): Dinner time! (Marrow): Yay dinner time! Spinach seriously?! Fuck you all! (Anabella): But spinach helps you become big and strong! (Ithon): Pff, my ass. Hades is seen putting poison in the spinach and gives it to Sub. (Hades): Hehehe... Sub puts more spinach on Marrow's plate while he's not looking. (Sub): Hehehe... (Hades): SHIT! (Marrow): I feel funny. (Hades): Yeah kid, you'll live until the next 15 hours. Hades makes another attempt and makes bombs in the backyard. (Hades): Mwahahaha! He steps in Lightning's crap. (Hades): Wha? Aw shit! (Sub): OK Lightning, gotta pick up you're droppings. (Lightning): Oh, you gotta hold on buddy. I gotta take a big shit Lightning goes to take a shit in the backyard but gets blown up. (Sub): Damn, you really had to go. (Lightning): Fuck...you. (Hades): Shit. (Ithon): Oh, you got that right. Hades grabs a machete from the kitchen, and goes to Sub's room with it. (Hades): I'm just gonna do this the original way. He sees Ithon going through Sub's clothes and sniffing them. (Ithon): Uhh... (Hades): What the fuck are you doing?! (Ithon): Please don't tell anyone. Even though we're on camera. I'm just trying to see what makes him...stronger, y-yeah! (Hades): It looks like you're doing it cause... (Ithon): Oh no no not that! (Hades): Ya know what? Screw this I'm gonna go take a shit. Ithon sniffs one of Sub's underwear. (Ithon): That was a close one. Hades goes to the bathroom to see Anabella naked. (Anabella): AAAAAHHHHHHH!! (Hades): Oh my god I'm so sorry! Anabella runs away screaming. Hades gets on the toilet to shit, and think about another plan. (Hades): COME ON THINK! THINK! FUCKING THINK! THIIIIINK! While Hades is on the toilet, Sub can here him from outside the bathroom, which sounds just like Hades. (Sub): That sounds like HADES! He knocks down the door and sees Hades' junk. (Sub): Stop right there Had- OH MY GOD! Hades' junk was flying out, until he pulled his pants up. (Hades): YOU PERV! Hades pushes Sub out the way, and runs outside. (Sub): He's getting away! (Hades): I'LL BE BACK! His bandages get caught by Thunder's statue's claw, and they unwrap around him until he is a skeleton, then a head. (Hades): FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUCK AW FUCK! (Sub): Well we finally caught Hades. Thanks to Thunder (Anabella): Ugh, that thing is getting old. She throws Thunder's statue in the closet, as spider and other bugs get on it. (THR END) Characters *Sub *Anabella *Hades *Ithon *Marrow *Lightning *Thunder *Random Guy *Bum Trivia *This is the same episode, but it's the uncensored version. Category:URP Shorts Category:Uncensored